B L O O P E R S

Photo Credit: Sierra Duffey (@s_duffey)

Even though EVERY move I make these days is based on an immense love for my child, I am far from perfect and I’m not too embarrassed to admit I’ve had my fair share of errr…. “learning experiences.”  By “learning experiences,” I’m referring to those times my little guy’s curiosity took him 2 inches too far off the bed, when he climbed up our unstable bar stool in the kitchen, or decided he wanted out of his sling when I was distracted paying the cashier at the grocery store.  Let’s face it, parenthood requires two watchful eyes on your little all day long and while we get pretty good at it, we simply cannot save our babies from every slip and fall they might make.  As Justin Bieber would say “is it too late now to say sorry?”    

I’ll give you a “for instance”: A few nights ago, Calvin woke up only an hour after I put him to bed (I believe teething was to blame for this early wake-up).  Although he tried and tried, he was having tremendous difficulty soothing himself back to sleep – enter MAMA!  While I thought I could easily get my little guy back to la la land with a bit of rocking and a few cuddles, he was up and decided he would try the whole sleeping thing in another few hours.  As I watched the clock creep passed midnight, I was convinced I was starting to make progress in my endeavor to get him back to sleep.  The classic eye-rubbing, yawns, and fussiness was starting to set in as he struggled to stay awake with me in my bed.  And finallyyyy…I HAD DONE IT…my little night owl was back to sleep snuggled up next to me.  While I love his snuggles, I knew it was time to transfer him back to his bedroom and get some zzz’s myself!  Just before I picked him up, I snuck quickly out of bed and tiptoed to my ensuite bathroom with his dirty diaper in hand that had been gracing my nightstand – I’ll just throw this dirty diaper in the garbage and off to bed we both go! Suddenly – a THUD!  My little guy had noticed his mama leave his side and in an effort to follow suit, he leapt from the bed….without the cooperation of his legs.

For a few minutes following the fall, my little daredevil was inconsolable and I mentally punished myself as I wiped his tears away.  How could I have left him there to throw away a diaper? I should really be more attentive! What kind of a mother am I?  As I flicked on the light to check him over for bumps and bruises, he shot me a bashful smile even though I did NOT deserve it.  Thank goodness he was okay, but I’m still sort of struggling with the guilt.

Look, I know that at only eight months of age Calvin will have MANY bumps, bruises and spills ahead and I won’t be there to catch him or console him each time.  We as mothers can often be much harder on ourselves than the rest of the world can be on us.  I really need to practice daily positive mantras with regards to motherhood.  I am however happy to report that upon my frantic google search of “baby falling off of bed,” I found feed upon feed of supportive and encouraging mothers documenting the SAME THING with obvious concern for their little one.  After reading each of their stories I felt much better and heartened by the support of the online parenting community.  We all need a little more reassurance and praise in this voyage through parenthood, even after a little blooper.